Regrets of a Warrior
by Smokefeather
Summary: Ash, a previous warrior, now a kittypet, shares his harsh criticism of the clans and his thoughts on what should happen and what he thinks is best for his clanmates. Oneshot.


**I do not own Warriors, Erin Hunter does.**

**Note:**

** The views in this story are not mine, but simply the ones of the particular character I am writing about. Just in case anyone disagrees, these are not my views. They are the view of a cat, who of course does not know much about there not always being enough homes for all the cats to live in and such twoleg knowledge like that. Please, if you review, review about the writing or the idea, not about the actual opinions, as they are not mine. Thanks! And now for the story...**

They say it is a disgrace to their clan for a warrior to become a kittypet.

Am I a disgrace?

I served my clan well for many moons. I helped win many battles, some of which have gone down in warrior history. I hunted for them many Leafbares, many dark, cold, winters when it seemed the sun would never shine warm again, when we all were starving, I caught the prey that saved the lives of many who might have died. I protected our borders loyally. I mentored many fine, respectful warriors, and I myself am the father of four fine warriors indeed.

The surprising thing is, I regret it. And I will regret it the rest of my life. But yet, am I a disgrace?

I am old. My brown tabby fur is ragged and my once-keen amber eyes are dull. I am thin, delicate, and I cannot fight anymore. Not that I need to, in my warm, twoleg home. They take good care of me. I can't catch prey anymore. But I am happy. Through my regrets, I have made the right decision, I believe. I just hope, when I die, I don't go to StarClan. Then all my work would be for nothing.

Really, when you think about it, the warrior code is stupid. The clans are stupid. StarClan is stupid. Or maybe I should say naive. But how could a cat not see this? Over the years, I got tired of watching the unnecessary suffering of cats. Cats who made a mistake and stepped over a border? Attacked. Battles over food, when all the twolegs could be feeding us so we never had to worry about food again. Cats dying because they wanted more territory, when they wouldn't need territory in a warm home with a backyard. Hearing the cries of the cat's friends and family as they were brought to camp dead, dead for some petty reason. And the warrior code supporting it all. StarClan giving us silly little prophecies. And all of us never stopping to think that we might not need to kill each other. Battles just because it was traditional to have battles? It was absurd! If we might have just lived in a whole group in peace, it would be different. But then clans wouldn't dream of that. Oh, no. StarClan forbids it, and so does the warrior code! It's _tradition. _There MUST be four clans. Its ALWAYS been this way. We needed to look to the future, not the past! The clans were not working! Cats were dying unnecessarily! And yet, we were proud. Proud of our heritage. Proud every time we won a fight. Proud that we were one clan, still strong after so long.

Have you ever seen a kit die in leafbare because they prey was running low and it was starving? I have. Ever seen a gentle queen die of greencough, because the medicine cat couldn't help her? I have. Have you ever seen a warrior fighting to defend everything he ever lived for killed? I have. This could all have been prevented. But it wasn't. How could it not be? I don't know. Even I, at one point, thought the clans were great. But I was wrong. Dead wrong, and I realized that.

I regret not going earlier. Then I might not have had to leave my mate and kits. I wouldn't HAVE a mate and kits. I wouldn't be the cause of four more cats being born into this ruthless warrior world. I wouldn't have given my family the pain of having me missing, and the shame of knowing where I went. Yes, you guessed right, straight to a twoleg home. I don't see what cats say is so bad about them. What's so bad about someone protecting you, feeding you, and caring about you? It's just like a clan, in a way, but without the bloodshed. Without the death, and the fear. Without the pain, the grief, and the fighting. Without the always-broken hope that maybe there would not be battles. That everything would be peaceful. How could that be, when the warrior code _told_ you to fight? How?

If only all cats could find this. A home. Safety. I still want the best for my clan. But I have a different idea then them of what the best is. Why call me disloyal because I want my clanmates to be safe? Because I don't want blood spilled? Because I want a safe home for every kit? Maybe it is disloyal. Maybe. If it is, Iscorn loyalty. And I will forever.

My name is Ash, formerly Barkpelt, and I am warrior-turned-kittypet.

Ask yourself this; am I a disgrace?

**Oi! Smokefeather here. This idea just sort of popped into my head the other day, and I wanted to get it down. I hope you enjoy reading.**

**--Smokefeather**


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